Confusions

 So, it's been a while since I wrote anything. The same old excuse - "Been busy! Trust me." And even I don't know what else to say. The past few months have been no less than a roller coaster ride. Before last year, all of us had a specific task to do. We had the defined goal of studying  (and enjoying the childish pleasures of troubling our teachers and finishing all the food in our friends' tiffins even before the lunch break started) in school. Then, we started college and the ultimate goal at the end of those 4 years was again already laid out - yeah, to get a job! But now that we've started with that job, we no longer have any set rules to follow.

Now, we can choose any road and become whoever we want. And I know that sounds amazing but it comes with its share of confusions. You just have too many choices! You can continue to do what you're doing. You can look for a better opportunity. Or you can even do something completely different and change your career path altogether. But is that it? Is career the only thing that's causing that confused state of mind?

I didn't think so too! Till now, we always found people. We could always choose to like or dislike people and make friends accordingly. We were just surrounded by people of similar age groups or studying the same course, who had gone through the same stress of competitive exams. But now, we have to make an effort to find like-minded people. I go to the office and end up meeting new people - some of those people are about 10 years older than me, studied "Humanities" or "Commerce" and are at their fourth or fifth organization now, with a role that's different than mine. It would seem irrational to find a common ground with such people but is it really that necessary to find a common ground with everyone we meet in order to be their friend? I believe it's the vibe that should match, and wouldn't that be sufficient? My experience so far says, yes. I had recently been to Goa with two of my friends. We stayed in a hostel there and met so many different people. We had nothing in common with these people but to have fun, the only thing we needed was that click - that vibe check to make us comfortable around them. (On a side note, please stay in a hostel the next time you're planning a trip with your friends. It's a completely different experience and an amazing one at it. You won't regret it!!)

What about our messed up dating lives, you ask? I'm not really sure what's going on there but most of my friends and friends of friends are facing the conundrum of trying to understand what they want. Most of us are single, not because we don't want to get into a relationship but because we want slow love. We want crazy experiences that leave us with a sense of calmness. We want to make space for new people in our lives but don't want to throw away all the hard work that we put into ourselves over these past years. Almost all of us have had our hearts broken and have invested huge chunks of our time to get over that idea of "The one" and make peace with the fact that it's important to be in love with ourselves before we're ready to love anyone else. So, even though it feels that way but you're not the only one trying to make something of your life before sharing the same with another person. 

I know it gets overwhelming at times, thinking about all the things that are uncertain in our lives. And yes, there are a ton of options to choose from - be it our career paths or people who we could be friends with, or the ones we want to date. But it's important to take a step forward and just go for it sometimes. What's the worst that could happen? You might not like where it's going and you might feel like you wasted your time. But isn't that what our 20's are for? To not have any regrets when we're 70 years old and are planning to go for "Bhajans" or "Satsangs", just to pass our time?