The Words with Wings

What is the world without a little magic? I've recently come to realise that I love noticing the little things, and I'm so grateful to get to see them all. When you lose a quarter every year to your seasonal depression, you try not to lose any more time shrinking yourself. So, I don't understand the nonchalance of our generation. I'm very chalant, and I'm very loud about it. We can't always keep waiting around for the next big thing to happen in our lives, just to feel happy. So, lemme tell you about all the little things that brought me a smile lately: I found a heart in my cookie, hihi My table number at a restaurant was my favourite number haha I got to see a perfect sunset while travelling back home one day I named the wifi at my place "Cookie" I rode on one of the longest escalators that I've ever seen I got my hot chocolate in the "Harry Potter" edition mugs from Starbucks I ate the best kulfi ever My Kajal can double as an eyeliner...

 This is a question I saw on social media, and the comments had all sorts of answers, ranging from parents to siblings to friends to partners. But it made me wonder, what about those who don't go to anyone when they're falling apart? What if some of us have handled ourselves for so long that we don't know how to ask for help? Now, don't get me wrong, I love and respect my family and friends, and sooner or later, they do get to know if I was facing something. But maybe I just don't know how to break down in front of them.  Growing up, some of us were told we were overreacting when we tried to open up, while others were told we were easy children who handled everything on our own very well. However, did we? We probably just started believing that we can't trust anyone but ourselves. Because what if we get ridiculed when we're pouring our hearts out? Or what if the other person is just indifferent to our concerns? Both of those scenarios lead to us getting hurt...

 All my life, I've been told that I'm too much...     Too angry     Too loud     Too irritated     Too weird     Too boyish     Too uptight     Too much to handle  And guess what, I am all of that! But why does being too much always have to be a bad thing? Yes, I am too much, but that also means I love and get excited too much, amidst an ocean of negativity. I feel everything to the deepest, and one could argue it's annoying, but I like to believe it's what sets you apart. Rather than shrinking to help the world understand and doing things half-assed, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I want the world to know that I am too much and that not everyone has the power to handle this kind of too much, so the right people will eventually come along. That being said, don't we all love being too much in one aspect of life or another, just to feel a little something? Don't you have a crazy obsession that makes you "you"? ...

For the longest time, I've been afraid of promises. And I don't want this to become a sob story, so I'll keep this part short; My Nana passed away when I was 15 years old, and he was truly my person - a bundle of joy and love (somehow even in his most challenging times). If anyone has ever made me feel like anything is possible, it was him! Almost a month before that dreadful day came was my birthday, and he'd been quite sick for a while by then, having had about 5 surgeries recently. He used to love singing and dancing, and on my birthday, as we turned on his favourite songs, we asked him to have a little dance with us, but he said, "Not this time, but next year, I promise!" and now, as we know it, next year never came. So, for years, all I could think whenever someone promised me something was that Nana had also promised, and this too would never happen. This made life a little weird since I started being scared of promises in general (yeah, even I didn'...

I was not gonna miss a chance to title my blog with this (and for those of you who haven't watched the movie, "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past," I would highly recommend you do it if you're looking for some light, witty comedy).  When you're in an MBA college, you tend to see a lot of breakups around you (don't discount yours!). This got me discussing breakups and post-breakup rituals with my friends. One of my good friends suggested that if I have to go through a breakup, I'll hand my phone to my girlfriend (or ex - whatever the moment calls for) and ask her to delete all our photos and chats, so that we know that it's for real and it's time to move on. And I just couldn't disagree more. But then again, there could be different perspectives here. I don't think it's fair for either of the parties to delete every trace of what they had because even if it was for a short time, you loved each other and shared some amazing and happy moments toge...

This is a question that I've been trying to answer for a while now. And I thought everyone had some sort of checklist for what makes a date good enough for them. So, I wanted to try to have one too, but the more people I met, the more I realised that you can't really define a decent date. Because even if you stay the same (which is hardly the case with me), the person you'll meet next could be completely different from the one you previously met. And that creates the possibility of liking an activity with someone that you hated with someone else.  So, I've been on a few dates lately, just to realise how messed up our dating app culture is:/// - And yes, this made me not just delete the apps but also almost hate men in general, but I guess that's the story for another blog!  Talking about the few dates I've been to, each one was really different. And just to put it out there, I love going on dates, to which my friends keep asking me "WHY?" - So, I'd...

Someone just asked me this exact question, and I went through a whirlwind of emotions trying to answer that, so I thought of writing about it. I've always wondered how people are able to choose one particular flower whenever they're asked this specific question because I surely can't give one single answer. I absolutely adore flowers. I love them to my core, and that's why I love to paint them and doodle them wherever possible. I've always felt that flowers are the most perfect little things in this world. Even when they're of different colors and even when they have various shapes and sizes, all you can do is love them. They're perfect even on days that they are not, which is a natural miracle for us to experience. But talking about my favourite flowers.... I love the scent of roses, so all of my perfumes revolve around all kinds of rose fragrances from the Red Rose to the China Rose.  I love the elegance and the passion that Tulips exhibit. They nudge you ...

So yesterday, we did a little exercise in class for "Leadership Development" where we were supposed to give and receive feedback on our leadership styles from our friends. To answer the prompt of the thing that can hold your friend back in leadership, one of my friends mentioned that my overexcitement or extreme emotions can cloud my judgment, and that sure seemed like a bold statement to make. To understand this better, I asked for an instance (because I just couldn't understand it - I mean, yeah, I do get overexcited sometimes, and I sure do have a lot of extreme emotions, but clouded judgement?) Talking about the instance, he said that right at the start of the second year, I was really excited about helping and guiding the juniors (because that's how our seniors helped us, and I'm eternally grateful for them). Still, somehow, I ended up helping too many juniors, which led to extreme exhaustion. Some of those ungrateful bitches got me so angry because they thou...

I had this one in my drafts for the last 4 years. I think I was hoping to make it a little more extended one day, but life is too short to not publish your childhood poems (yes, 4 years back feels like childhood now). So, here goes... Sometimes I can be so grumpy. Instead of being happy. Mood swings at the worst. So, I may have an outburst. The reason could be my periods. Or a ton of stress. Give me a surprise. And I might apologize. I might get excited. And may even seem ecstatic. Okay, this kid was clearly going through mood swings, maybe because of a fight with her boyfriend, without realizing that mood swings are not that rare in her future.

 You'll meet these guys once in 5-7 years and suddenly remember how you used to believe you'd take over the world. And maybe that hasn't changed as much. Instead, our definition of "Taking over the world" has. It meant ruling the world at that time, but now, one of the most significant achievements would be beating the patriarchy while making the men in our lives feel as peaceful and confident as the sweetest people they are.  It's funny how our principles don't change much, even with the adulting we churn under daily. I was chatting with a couple of my school friends last week, and we realized that we're at an age when people around us are getting married while we struggle to build our careers. We realized our will to be "Girl Bosses" never changed, even with extremely different careers. But it's definitely not all positive when we think about it. While we were gossiping about how people getting married never really believed in having an...

I have exams for my third module starting next week, so I thought, why not gear up, before I head up for all the "module end" parties this week, I should look into what the syllabus looks like. I got up and got my notebook and pens ready. I wanted things to be smooth, so I decided to find the coolest-looking pen in my stationery drawer. And there was a sudden realization that so far in my life, I've had the privilege to experience all kinds of romances possible, and that made me wonder if I don't romanticize my life enough (and the answer is that I don't). To walk you through these different categories, I've had a school romance where you look for each other in the corridors just to blush on their first appearance, a coaching romance where getting a ride home is the most romantic thing you can think of, a college romance where you wait for each other's schedules to match to go out on a coffee date, an office romance where you wait the whole day just to spe...

 Today, I suddenly got the urge to bake something I haven't baked before and I thought of baking an orange almond tea cake. As an update, it's in the oven while I write this blog. As soon as I placed that cake tin in the oven, a sense of satisfaction and peace dawned upon me and it made me appreciate my love for baking again. This made me wonder how some people misinterpret feminism as "women leaving traditional gender roles and adopting more male-dominated roles." The only issue with that is that these "feminists" start looking down upon the women who actually enjoy activities like cooking and crocheting and women who choose to be caregivers, nurses, and homemakers.  We, as a society, need to understand that feminism stands for equal opportunity in all areas. The choice, however, should always be dependent on each individual. If a girl chooses to be a chef, it should not end up raising the eyes of the "feminists" since it is her choice. Additional...

I turned 23 this year and this year hasn't been any less than a roller coaster ride so far. I experienced everything I had experienced at least once before this year, but it was still so new to me. Let's do a case-by-case analysis (look at me turning into a corporate slave and flaunting my corporate jargon). I shifted first to a PG and then to a 1RK (Trust me, I swore to myself that I would never shift in a 1RK because they're tiny but I think I found a home here). I always assumed that living in an apartment would be like living in a hostel, but it feels different somehow. Don't get me wrong, I like living by myself because it gives me a chance to work on myself every single day but adulting hits you hard when you've to prepare the next day's lunch after returning from the office. And god knows where all the unclean utensils come from. I don't even own as many utensils as I end up washing every hour (overlook my slight exaggeration but this is still the que...

 Let's see where we end up with this question by the end of this blog.  Talking about my life lately... Got tired of drama with my friends, so decided to take a break and give myself some space. Started dating (again) and that's not as bad either - I almost forgot what it feels like to go on dates where the other person is actually your friend and doesn't end up asking what my food choices are. Work has been okayish in the sense that every day, I say "I'll conquer the world as soon as I work on my resume and start applying for a job switch" before going to bed. I started living in a 1RK (that's basically a room with a mini kitchen) and god knows where all those ants are coming from in my room. Ohh yeah, and I've been getting ill a lot lately and some people would say that the weather change is the reason for my throat infection. To them, I say it's that healthy and fresh orange juice that I drank last week (I always knew healthy food items don'...

I've lived within a 30 km radius of the India Gate all my life but it was only recently that I finally got to see it. Now, open up your imagination and come on this journey with me! It all started when one of my office friends visited me in Gurgaon. Oh! And he had a scooty (trust me, that scooty is the star of this story). So, we sat and talked and soon, realized that the weather was nice outside, so we thought of going on a quick 5-minute scooty ride. We met after dinner, so had no intention of eating something. Now, we started and the cold air felt good on our faces, so we decided to extend this quick ride. I'm not sure what we were thinking at that moment but we decided to go and touch the Delhi airport and come back. This was about 30 minutes away from my place - felt doable and here starts the adventure. While on the highway, we started seeing some signboards with directions to the India Gate on them. We ignored it for a while but within the next 5 minutes, I was like ...

There's an electricity outage at my PG, so my mind wandered into daydreaming which made me look back on the past year and the numerous new experiences I had all these months. I'm grateful for all these new experiences, even the bad ones because they made me come closer to the people I have in my life. Let's start with the good experiences first. I think I'd like to make a list for this one and I'll try to keep this one in chronological order: Rode an ATV in Jaisalmer I went to my first open mic (I tanked it but it felt amazing to talk out one of my previous blogs on stage) Attended a food fest (it was such a crazy experience and the irony is that we had to visit a restaurant post the food fest since we were super hungry when we left the fest) Earned my Bachelor's degree Had my first girls' trip to Goa Lived at a hostel on vacation for the first time on that trip Shifted near my office and met my tribe of girls. These people made me realize the importance of ...

"Eventful" seems like a small word to describe the crazy February I had. This month involved moving out of my home and shifting to a different city, dancing on stage and wearing a lehenga after years, going on dates, meeting old friends, and even that's not all. Let me go through all the events chronologically. My office is in Gurgaon and I'd been traveling to the office since last year but lately, I'd started getting horribly car sick, so shifting near my office seemed the right way to go about it. So, shifted to Gurgaon at the start of this month. This was also the time that I started getting into the dating world again (Didn't really work out but I felt ready to finally start dating again). Soon after shifting, it was my best friend's parent's silver jubilee function, where the dress code was traditional Indian outfits and we also had a dance performance planned. The only thing about that was... I hadn't done both of those things in the last 12 ...

I met a couple of my school friends after years today and the peace that came with this visit was unsurpassed. Just a couple of hours together made us realize we're at a place in life where we never anticipated being as school kids. All of us have grown into our unique selves but we still have certain traits that have remained constant over all these years. For instance, I still need to learn how to walk and not trip over imaginary things, one friend forgets about the world when she's around food, and the other one still thinks it's easier to derive formulas than to learn them. Once you enter a corporate setting, you become a more sophisticated person, even if it's not intentional. Maybe it's the environment or maybe it's the work but the folks at your office see a version of you. They might never get to see the "Innocent school you" or the "Wild college you". Eventually, even you start forgetting that part of yourself. But meeting those chil...

 I recently watched a movie named, "Serendipity", which means "Fortunate accidents". It made me realize how we come across so many fortunate accidents in our daily lives and don't really appreciate them enough. Just today, I was driving to my friend's place and something exciting happened. There were four traffic lights on my way there and as soon as I reached each of them, they turned from red to green, so I didn't really have to wait even once. It was such a small thing but it made me so happy. I told my mom about this when I returned and she said, "Now you can wait peacefully the next time you find a traffic light to be red, hoping that maybe the next one turns green as soon as you reach there." So, in a way, such little things help you stay hopeful and keeps you going. Every time you meet a person and feel like keeping them in your life, it is serendipitous because even if it is for a short period, that person reflects hope and happiness. I...

 So, it's been a while since I wrote anything. The same old excuse - "Been busy! Trust me." And even I don't know what else to say. The past few months have been no less than a roller coaster ride. Before last year, all of us had a specific task to do. We had the defined goal of studying  (and enjoying the childish pleasures of troubling our teachers and finishing all the food in our friends' tiffins even before the lunch break started) in school. Then, we started college and the ultimate goal at the end of those 4 years was again already laid out - yeah, to get a job! But now that we've started with that job, we no longer have any set rules to follow. Now, we can choose any road and become whoever we want. And I know that sounds amazing but it comes with its share of confusions. You just have too many choices! You can continue to do what you're doing. You can look for a better opportunity. Or you can even do something completely different and change your ...